Sometimes you won't get the job, sometimes you won't get the loan, sometimes the relationship won't last, sometimes you get sick, receive a diagnosis or go through seasons of pain and disappointments. And what makes this so disheartening is that you prayed. You fasted. You believed. You begged God and attempted to make a deal with him. You put in the work. You did what you thought it would take to yield the outcome that you wanted. This is very confusing and contrary to what I've been taught.
I've been taught about faith and work and hope and giving and praying and seasons and timing. I've been taught about reaping what I have sown and seed time and harvest time. I've been taught about karma. I've read the scriptures that says "make your request known unto the Lord" and trust in the Lord with all your heart. No one adequately prepared me or taught me the missing component and that's "God's will". I can't say that I haven't heard of God's will or didn't understand God's will but I was oblivious as to how much control over my life that I had.
One of the hardest things to accept and to process is when it’s Gods will. Who do you complain to? Who can fix this for you? or who can reverse this decision. When the will of God shows up in your life , there are no do overs. There’s no one to plead your case to. No second opinions matter. No amount of tears can fix it. It’s final. Certainly you can heal and certainly things will get better in time but in those initial moments, days, weeks, months and years, Gods will can feel cruel, crushing and unbearable.
What can you do when life happens?
Give your self time to process and heal. Reach out for resources/ help. Do the things that bring healing and peace to your soul. Don't allow people to tell you what you need and how you should grieve your loss or hardship. Don't wallow in it but sit long enough to gain perspective and allow healing to begin.
Change the narrative: At the end of the day, it's the story you tell your self that will either propel you forward and allows you to move on or be the anchor that just holds you stuck in place. After John died I was so full of fear and worry. I didn't understand my feelings and for a long time, I wasn't sure how to make the seesaw emotions of worry and fear stop. I was hyper alert and sensitive about any and everything. I've always been a rebel. I moved about in confidence and certainty but his death rocked me to my core. I was the opposite of everything I had ever been. I no longer had confidence and certainty. His death stripped me bare. I was so shock and stun. Nothing and no one mattered. Thank God I have a good foundation and though I had thoughts and feeling of self destruction, day by day I fought my way out of despair. I knew God and I knew that God has been a present help to me my entire life. I couldn't make sense of my situation but I trusted God. I changed the narrative by reciting scriptures and singing songs about the goodness of God and I reminded myself of all of my "only God could have done it" moments.
Consider that life is happing for you instead of to you. The scripture that comes to mind is, " all things work together for the good of them that love the Lord and who are called according to his purpose".
At first you may be like me and refuse to accept it (the thing when life happens). I couldn’t see purpose or meaning. As far as I was concern, I thought if God needed to accomplish his will or plan, I could figured out a millions other ways he could have done so. I’m sure that’s why he didn’t consult me or anyone else.
Don't get me wrong. I love my life and I would venture to say that I'm now living my best life. It's not the path that I would have chosen but it's the path that is predestine for me. I still have times when I look back, I wish and I hope that things were different. I'm not a super saint so I don't have all things figured out yet. I am a Christian that believe in the bible even though I fall short of some of the principles that the bible teaches us.